Randomness

Today is the first day that I have been home alone. Just put my feet up and looked at the clock... I had a doctor appointment this morning and dropped Mike off at work, and I have to go pick him up for lunch in a few minutes. I don't want to get up.
Anyway, my oldest went back to daycare this morning for the first time this summer. He was so excited to leave the house! He has been asking to go back to school for about a month, so he was ready to run out the door this morning.
I had a doctor appointment earlier with my oncologist. Just a check up to make sure my blood looks good and everything is doing well. I had a great report. Everything is awesome.
I really don't like going to that place. Everyone there is super sweet and all the patients are all happy, but I look around and always see that I am the youngest person there. It depresses me a little. I am embarrassed to admit that I do tear up. I always have one of those "why me" moments when I get there.
I've been told that I am lucky to have this so young. I somewhat disagree with that. If I were older, it would be a lot easier understood by two little kids. I know they are very confused. At the same time, it is good that I am young because my body is younger and could possibly bounce back better. I hope so anyway. There is still a slight possibility that the cancer could return later on, but we are not going to think about that right now.
One thing that has been weighing on my mind today, and I don't know why, is the question of a future child. I'm not at all looking to have another child any time too soon. Not with my 1 year old running around. He is evil. Not really. He is the cutest little thing you have ever seen, but man is he mean. The complete opposite of his brother. I could not imagine having another baby just like him.
The reason that I am even thinking about this is knowing that, due to chemo, there is a chance of going into early menopause. Now, I am doing 8 treatments (4 of two drugs together and 4 of one by itself) instead of 6 treatments. I was told by my doctor that there was a better chance of not going into menopause by doing this.... only a 50% chance. We were not planning on having another baby for another 5 or so years (if at all), but I've always wanted that as an option. As much as I don't want a little girl, I do want a little girl. Hmmmm....
I go back to work in a few days, so I'm trying to get my body back in the routine of getting up and at 'em. My body has been resting and relaxing for so long, that this will be a very difficult task. I go back to the school on Wednesday, but have my port placement on Thursday, so I'll miss a day because it's surgery and I will be out of it, but then the next week will be work, work, work!
Mike was looking at my hair today, and noted that it was looking a little thin. My hair has always been thin, and I think the way I chose to wear my ponytail may have made my part look a little different. He is so ready for my hair to start falling out. He went to Sally's over the weekend and bought a new pair of clippers just for me. He's waiting for me to give him the "Okay", and he is so excited. The salon where I bought my wig will shave my head and do all the adjusting of the wig and everything I need there in a back room. Shaving of the head is only $20, with everything else being free... You might as well tell my husband that they are charging $100 because he refuses to have me pay to have it done when he can do it for me. I think he is counting the days down. People say it takes 15 days... that is this Friday. I'm sure he will be trying to pull my hair out for me by this weekend just so he can say, "Hey, look! Your hair is falling out!!"
Welp, speaking of, Mike just called and told me he was going to lunch with a friend from work. I was supposed to drop him off at work and go shopping in the area, so I could be back at noon. Since I came home instead, he doesn't want me driving back and forth. I drove for the first time in about a month today, and I drove like a person who hasn't driven in a while. I am perfectly happy staying home. I just have to remember to pick him up from work. Good thing he only works 15 minutes from the house.
Sorry for the randomness of this blog. Everything is running through my head. I better go do my stretches. I'm going to need my right arm for writing on the board when school starts. If I don't do my stretches, that is going to be a pain (literally).